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handofdog
Oh, man... Hope my luck changes before the party...

Joined on 10/25/23

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I give up

Posted by handofdog - 17 hours ago


I thought I was doing better, or more okay to use internet and interact but I'm feeling overwhelmed and disgusting. I can't do this anymore, I can't draw. Some of my things have broken, anyway and it might have been final straw. I keep changing my pfp out of nervousness. I don't want to interact. My paranoia is coming back and I feel again like I'm going to be stalked or hurt if I open myself or be too friendly. And they ruined everything for me. It's always my fault for being too nice I tried to teach myself to be a little meaner but it just scares me more, that I brought it onto myself more.


I don't know what to do. I give up.


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Comments

You're not disgusting and it's okay if you don't want to interact. There's no fault in being nice.

Who is "they"? Is someone harassing you? Or do you fear someone's going to harass you?

If it's someone who's actively harassing online, you can block him and report him to the mods, or even Fulp himself (i think)

If it's fear, well, we never know who's we're truly talking to. Even irl, we can't get inside someone's head or heart.
I don't know what you're going through, or if someone is stalking you right now, but just know that it's not your fault. As far as I know, you haven't done or said anything wrong/offensive/harming on this site. And you really seem like a nice person.

Also, protecting/defending oneself isn't being "mean".

We hope the best for you, it's always okay to take a pause from drawing, writing, the internet, or whatever is tiring you out. :)

*And there is no one stalking me, I just feel like there will be because I'm a perfect loser candidate, men targeted before because they knew I'm isolated and too socially retarded to pick on manipulation. There is a fault in being nice because people take it as an invitation to do whatever they want to you. "They" is men, every man since childhood. I'm not talking about anyone on Newgrounds because at least I'm smart enough to protect myself here and learn from my mistakes. I hate it, I just always still feel like a target because I'm isolated and easily manipulated, I never had friends, I had no female friends because they all think I'm a social awkward retard and women don't like being near women they deem as weird. So I didn't learn any self preservation skills, just intimidation. I always trusted and believed adult men if they were even slightly nice to me because all men just made themselves TERRIFYING to me. I don't get why guys get mad that I'm scared of them when they purposely used fear and intimidation and their strength against me. How am I not supposed to be scared when I'm directly being told I should be afraid?

And I really was doing well, I started taking care of myself and moved on. I didn't feel eager to please anyone anymore but I thought it would be safe to talk to a man if it was from a distance online (before I made this newgrounds account). He was really nice and patient with me because I told him my issues and fears with men and how I hate touching and sex. But even after all that he admits he masturbated to me and then I find out he is just another sex pest, anyway. And he knew I was traumatized from things like that and it just traumatizes itself again. I hate it, I hate it, I hate. I hate that other women don't like me, I hate that interacting with men will lead to sexual things. I don't want to ever have sex, I don't want to touch a penis, so there, I have made myself unusable to men. I am unmarketable, I am never going to marry.

@handofdog
What you're describing to me reminds me of a lot of things you drew, particularly this one:

https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/handofdog/21-you-can-tell-me-anything

I'll tell you, it's really good that you started taking care of yourself. It's actually, the best thing we can do, taking care of ourselves. So please don't stop.

"There is a fault in being nice because people take it as an invitation to do whatever they want to you."
Still, the fault doesn't come from you. Really, people can find an infinite of reasons to hurt people. "They deserved it" "I didn't knew" "wasn't on purpose" "they were too kind" "they were too this" "too that". They will just whatever excuse fit the situation. It's not your fault.

Also, manipulation is nothing more than bait and switch. Like what you described in the "You can tell me anything" drawing. Some only act nice. But as I wrote earlier, we can't enter someone's heart/head. Once again, it's not your fault.

I understand that after all your experiences with men (and women) make you fear the worst, but fearing and fearing is very unhealthy. You know that. We all know that. It hurt.

But obviously, I don't know what hurt more : fearing that any of your actions will be brought against you, or fearing that the person you're putting your trust on is just lying and manipulating. I don't know.

But what i know for sure is that it's useless to try to understand the wicked. That's the thing with them : they don't think. There's no "why". It can be perverts, racists, bullies, rapists, harassers, thieves, and whatever goddamn action the human being can do. They do it because they can. That's all.

Think about what you do for taking care of yourself.
Don't give up. After all, what are you giving up on? Your kindness? Your art? Your? Your? Why does it always have to be something that belong to you?

Again, don't give up. Stop trying to understand them. Know that there's kind people out there. People who are peaceful and understanding. Both men and women.
It might be difficult to believe it after what you're going through, but that's the thing : you shouldn't give up.

But they DO think. They know exactly what they're doing and they know exactly how it will hurt the victim. I need to understand how it works for protection, to recognize it. That's part of why Mr. Wonderful manifested himself in the first place.

I know you are trying to help and I do appreciate the messages, I really do. I'm just not in a good state right now. Thank you, sorry.

I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I can’t know what you’re going through, and I can’t begin to imagine how you feel. All I know is hard times do come and go.

You will make it through these hard times, just like you have before. Do whatever it is you need to do, even if that means logging off and stepping away forever. But please, never give up on yourself. Never give up on your art.

Kindness is not a fault. What you went through is not your fault. What other people have done to you is not your fault. Please never give up on yourself.

If I can ask, what of yours broke? Is there a way to fix or replace it?

Thank you to both of you. I'm sorry. A year or two ago I wouldn't even respond to male, so at least I'm still better than before. A few electrical things broke, but I just have to wait and see I guess. I'm really tired, I'll just go to bed before I embarrass myself even further. Sorry.

@handofdog Take care and rest well.

@handofdog you dont have to be sorry about anything, you didnt do anything wrong. even if you think otherwise, we all care about you and we want to see all the best for you, truly, truly. i cant stress that enough. please take care <3

Take a break from the internet. I've been paranoid about posting online for different reasons in the past, and I find it better to walk away from social media/forums and return when ready, if at all.

I don't blame you one bit, it's better to rest friend. I hope you have someone to talk about that stuff. I feel you on this with discord groups, but nothing beats someone in person. Also don't bother feeling you have to mean, you did what you did or rather posted there is done and you can walk away (we're all just strangers on the net), remember that. The world is unfair, i know you know how things should be so please stay strong till you feel better. I will forever appreciate your art