Something I think about...the vast majority of media we consume is written, drawn, or dictated by men. While I very much do enjoy the works I can find by them, it takes a lot of curating and wading through, on my part, to find something I resonate with. I feel a great sense of alienation in this world because of that.
For the most part, we are subjected to repeated viewings of pornographic imagery, strange, brutalization, gratuitous torture and rape scenes done to women, "actresses", to the point it's seen as typical or rather normal. Lots of scared, pained faces. I rarely find, in eroticism, a depiction where the woman is actually enjoying it.
Male characters are rarely ever drawn, or male actors are given the dignity of not having explicitly shown, drawn out scenes because men know it is uncomfortable to view themselves like that (do they know it is uncomfortable for women to view ourselves like that, too?). After so long, I can't help but feel that in everything, there is some sexual gratification to be had when the victim is a woman, but true horror when the victim is a man. The voyeuristic aspect is admitted in a poem like Punishment by Seamus Heaney, and is the very reason why I dislike the poem. Despite being "self-aware" about it, he and others like him still derive pleasure out of seeing women that way; evident in the descriptiveness of the state of her body, and the flippant, justifications of their violence. Nothing has been learned from reading it. Well, anyway, that is my reaction to it from a female perspective.
Now, even though I have used elements of horror and gore with women, there isn't a feeling of hypocrisy, guilt or sexual pleasure from me in depicting these things. Although, it would be rather nice to not have a reason to do it at all, horror and gore are very real parts of growing up as a girl. At certain times, it will be the only thing I relate to, or the only catharsis for my emotions. As I understand my own reasoning for it, I'm comforted by relating to and finding that shared experience within other women who are so drawn to things like gore, macabre/horror imagery. I am already conscious of not depicting it in a salacious manner in any way, as I have no reason for that, but I am also aware I can not control how another views it.
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But I am curious about others in relation to something like At-tan, other media, and the world in general. Specifically speaking in how it relates to your gender, as a man or woman. What sort of effects, since it is mainly to do with sex and sexuality, a permanent interest and issue of mine.
There's no judgement. And it will have no changes on my story, as that is set and done. I'd be interested to read only. So, can you please tell me how you feel?
saqadiq
As a man, At-tan has provided me with a necessary sense of shame and introspection. To view the personal struggles and cruel hardships from the perspective of someone in a very raw way has left a lasting imprint. Plus, the unique art style, developed characters, clever symbolism, and captivating story make it easy to digest.
Frequently in media, when I'm meant to commiserate with a traumatised woman, they usually just throw in SA as a plot device. It exhibits how the woman's sense of safety was violated by a single, wicked man, but it often fails to address the moral corruption of society at large.
I live in a country where consumerism is rampant. The most effective way to grab someone's attention for an advertisement is with sexual imagery. In certain television shows I watch, they throw in tasteless fan service that does nothing but shatter the immersion for me. Lots of male artists boast of their sexual conquests in the music they make. Women flaunt their bodies on social media and other more obscene platforms to make ends meet. Incredibly sexist, tone-deaf, incel-oriented humour has hijacked the minds of my generational peers. It has even weaseled its way into the modern political sphere, though I suppose controlling and undermining women has always been the objective of many governing bodies. This shit is really inescapable, and I feel like At-tan has brought my attention to abominable things I would have otherwise shrugged off because I've gotten so blasé to the objectification and dehumanisation of the opposite sex.
In regards to men not being portrayed in such compromising situations, you're right. The only media item I've consumed that actually displays and describes viscerally nasty scenes recounting the experience of a male victim is Baby Reindeer. Though it seems the meaning and purpose of it all was lost on many. I was expecting it to increase solidarity and empathy on both sides, considering he was manipulated by an eminent man, but that largely went ignored. People mostly focused on the female stalker, who was clearly mentally deranged, and used it as a sidestep for trivial arguments and to dismiss female victims. It really didn't change much.
I can't pretend to be all sanctimonious though, because I still have a long way to go when it comes to purging deeply-entrenched beliefs.
I'm cool with the gore, the unsettling imagery, and the discomforting topics. These were driving forces in opening my eyes and expanding my frontal lobe.
handofdog
Thank you. This was maybe awkward to come forward (for both commenters), but insightful to read in assessing where things are at. Seeing the things men mention they need to purge or unlearn (I'll be brutal: things you list here, I understand. Some things, I can't excuse the ignorance. Then there are things that are so disturbing, I don't understand how a human could realistically even have those biases/beliefs 'to fight' to begin with. I'm not without sin, but they will mention traits of a serial killer/pedophile casually like I'd be cool about it).
It always sounded to me like men live in a dream-like state usually, as someone who had to learn vigilance.
I won't be replying too much or at all, as these are just meant to be read. Thank you again for all the people that comment with honesty. And thank you to the ones that read, but don't comment- it's okay if you don't, I still see you. :]