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handofdog
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Gender in Relation to At-tan

Posted by handofdog - December 9th, 2024


Something I think about...the vast majority of media we consume is written, drawn, or dictated by men. While I very much do enjoy the works I can find by them, it takes a lot of curating and wading through, on my part, to find something I resonate with. I feel a great sense of alienation in this world because of that.


For the most part, we are subjected to repeated viewings of pornographic imagery, strange, brutalization, gratuitous torture and rape scenes done to women, "actresses", to the point it's seen as typical or rather normal. Lots of scared, pained faces. I rarely find, in eroticism, a depiction where the woman is actually enjoying it.


Male characters are rarely ever drawn, or male actors are given the dignity of not having explicitly shown, drawn out scenes because men know it is uncomfortable to view themselves like that (do they know it is uncomfortable for women to view ourselves like that, too?). After so long, I can't help but feel that in everything, there is some sexual gratification to be had when the victim is a woman, but true horror when the victim is a man. The voyeuristic aspect is admitted in a poem like Punishment by Seamus Heaney, and is the very reason why I dislike the poem. Despite being "self-aware" about it, he and others like him still derive pleasure out of seeing women that way; evident in the descriptiveness of the state of her body, and the flippant, justifications of their violence. Nothing has been learned from reading it. Well, anyway, that is my reaction to it from a female perspective.


Now, even though I have used elements of horror and gore with women, there isn't a feeling of hypocrisy, guilt or sexual pleasure from me in depicting these things. Although, it would be rather nice to not have a reason to do it at all, horror and gore are very real parts of growing up as a girl. At certain times, it will be the only thing I relate to, or the only catharsis for my emotions. As I understand my own reasoning for it, I'm comforted by relating to and finding that shared experience within other women who are so drawn to things like gore, macabre/horror imagery. I am already conscious of not depicting it in a salacious manner in any way, as I have no reason for that, but I am also aware I can not control how another views it.

---


But I am curious about others in relation to something like At-tan, other media, and the world in general. Specifically speaking in how it relates to your gender, as a man or woman. What sort of effects, since it is mainly to do with sex and sexuality, a permanent interest and issue of mine.


There's no judgement. And it will have no changes on my story, as that is set and done. I'd be interested to read only. So, can you please tell me how you feel?


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Comments

As a man, At-tan has provided me with a necessary sense of shame and introspection. To view the personal struggles and cruel hardships from the perspective of someone in a very raw way has left a lasting imprint. Plus, the unique art style, developed characters, clever symbolism, and captivating story make it easy to digest.

Frequently in media, when I'm meant to commiserate with a traumatised woman, they usually just throw in SA as a plot device. It exhibits how the woman's sense of safety was violated by a single, wicked man, but it often fails to address the moral corruption of society at large.

I live in a country where consumerism is rampant. The most effective way to grab someone's attention for an advertisement is with sexual imagery. In certain television shows I watch, they throw in tasteless fan service that does nothing but shatter the immersion for me. Lots of male artists boast of their sexual conquests in the music they make. Women flaunt their bodies on social media and other more obscene platforms to make ends meet. Incredibly sexist, tone-deaf, incel-oriented humour has hijacked the minds of my generational peers. It has even weaseled its way into the modern political sphere, though I suppose controlling and undermining women has always been the objective of many governing bodies. This shit is really inescapable, and I feel like At-tan has brought my attention to abominable things I would have otherwise shrugged off because I've gotten so blasé to the objectification and dehumanisation of the opposite sex.

In regards to men not being portrayed in such compromising situations, you're right. The only media item I've consumed that actually displays and describes viscerally nasty scenes recounting the experience of a male victim is Baby Reindeer. Though it seems the meaning and purpose of it all was lost on many. I was expecting it to increase solidarity and empathy on both sides, considering he was manipulated by an eminent man, but that largely went ignored. People mostly focused on the female stalker, who was clearly mentally deranged, and used it as a sidestep for trivial arguments and to dismiss female victims. It really didn't change much.

I can't pretend to be all sanctimonious though, because I still have a long way to go when it comes to purging deeply-entrenched beliefs.

I'm cool with the gore, the unsettling imagery, and the discomforting topics. These were driving forces in opening my eyes and expanding my frontal lobe.

Thank you. This was maybe awkward to come forward (for both commenters), but insightful to read in assessing where things are at. Seeing the things men mention they need to purge or unlearn (I'll be brutal: things you list here, I understand. Some things, I can't excuse the ignorance. Then there are things that are so disturbing, I don't understand how a human could realistically even have those biases/beliefs 'to fight' to begin with. I'm not without sin, but they will mention traits of a serial killer/pedophile casually like I'd be cool about it).

It always sounded to me like men live in a dream-like state usually, as someone who had to learn vigilance.

I won't be replying too much or at all, as these are just meant to be read. Thank you again for all the people that comment with honesty. And thank you to the ones that read, but don't comment- it's okay if you don't, I still see you. :]

Reading At-tan has been a massive mixture of emotions since I’ve stumbled upon it.

To read them as a man, it’s majorly conflicting in a lot of ways. Part of me feels like I’m peeking in on a world I shouldn’t be participating in - and even reading it and trying to relate might be a sin. I can never know how it feels to be a woman - certainly not under these extreme circumstances - so why do I get a pass on getting to experience the catharsis that At-tan may provide for some?

I feel like that’s what makes the series what it is, and I get to read from a perspective that may have been impossible to see from otherwise. For that I’m thankful to have found it.

I find the At-tan series much more enlightening than I have other pieces of men-lead media that try to touch on women’s issues that don’t quite hit the mark. Having a female author is imperative to really going to places men can’t quite reach.

Though another part, for certain issues, makes me feel ashamed. I can reflect on what some of these men say or do, and understand that in ways I’ve been complacent, or actively participated in similar thoughts or behavior. It’s guilt that resonates deep inside. I question, how am I any better than the men represented here?

I try to counter mentally. I am not a bully - I am not a rapist - never have I treated men or women like this. But even then, why should I get to pat myself on back for the bare minimum of being a decent human being?

I think that’s how a lot of ‘men writing women’ media acts, still clearly participating in what it’s trying to resolve. It’s saying “I know I’m better than this, therefore I have a pass to act guilt-free on the otherwise shameful behavior.” Self-congratulatory, while still getting to revel in the thing that it knows is wrong - because deep down it’s a power so specific that men get to wield.

Reveling in that power is how small, weak, insecure men function. Getting to topple someone, control someone, fill that empty void in your heart with the discomfort and pain of someone else. Imprint your own burden onto them because you can - with women being the easiest target for their self-vitriol. Sex is not about love, it becomes about stoking the ego.

It’s that self-service that destroys itself and everyone else around them. It’s the failure to see that real fulfillment is through the uplifting of others.

This is the worst version of myself. One I condemn ever being, while fearing that I might become him any day.

In At-tan, I see the consequences of being him. There is a face to the hurt, to the pain, to the selfishness that destroys others for petty gains. I see her fear, her hurt, her sorrow. How deep that well of suffering is that resides in her, how it entrenches every aspect of her life. And seeing that hurts me too.

I don’t known if we’re born like this. I honestly think this kind of man stems from deeper failing on the part of society. How often the every day person is failed, and its ripples outwards onto everyone else - the victims of these men being the people least in control. But I can save my capitalism rant for another day, lol.

I hope this insight is useful or interesting at all. I know I comment a lot, so I know I’ve repeated some stuff I said before under other comics. I appreciate all the art - in its tone, its messaging, its humor, and its style. There’s nothing else quite like it.

Thank you. It was interesting and I'm glad you reflect about things like this to catch yourself. People who become complacent about being "the good one" just end up haughty and pretentious. Neil Gaiman's tumblr posts always got on my nerves because of this. Men & women should always be checking themselves to remain humble.

Now, I wanted to comment on this because you brought up an important sentiment. The conflicted feeling you say you have about reading At-tan; that you are peering in, intruding or a sin is something you should do away with. Yes, there are closed groups, places that only women should occupy and a man's addition would be an intrusion. But, there are publications, creations made by women that do not bar anyone and are available to everyone, yet mostly only other women will be the audience.

This idea that things by women should be avoided by men are how transgressions against women can continue as they are. Men will say women are a mystery, or we don't say what we want- but women are pretty blunt in art/writing, those men just aren't looking at it. I know you are not being malicious because it's so commonly thought and I understand it is just plain uncomfortable & feels targeting (even for an innocent man) to read/watch things women write about (especially in regards to men).

I consider the feeling to not want to intrude the "passive, non-malicious" feeling, which has branched off of the "aggressive". The aggressive, malicious intent, historically, of ignoring female creations because men don't consider women human. It's a dehumanization tactic. Women are still barred from education and arts now. Because men have set women's work aside, made their creations underground, now there is this feeling of guilt. That our work or voices are untouchable, shouldn't be witnessed/discussed or brought to your mind as a man because it would be rude— but this is still from the dehumanization tactic. To oppress a group or culture easier, you avoid their voices, testimonies, their media & creations, and that makes it harder to empathize with them, when you don't know anything about them.

Again, I hope it is understood I am not accusing, or shame anyone here. I am just setting generic explanation and examples, but I know I talk a little harshly I think so I'm sorry if it reads that way. I also do not represent all women; my personal experiences have shaped me. The bottom line, is that I do not want you to feel guilty for simply viewing what I publish.

The most respectful thing I think a man can do is to know we don't have same anatomy, know we don't always have same experience- but to relate to, empathize with women anyway because we are human. It is disrespectful to think you need to be a woman as well to humanize woman. So you are all right, no worries. Sorry for long comment, I tried to cover a lot to not make it sound militant.

@handofdog Thanks for the reply, and I certainly see where the flaws lie in my thinking. Your insight is really appreciated.

(I might have a different interpretation of your work so I might be wrong)

I didn't really feel like it was an attack on anybody or anything. Was just a bit shocked to see and read what happen on the serie because, well, it's really put bluntly.

I just liked it the more I read At-tan, first because of the effort you put in (collages, the colors used, etc...), and because I feel like At-tan is actually a bit "relatable".

Of course I didn't experienced any of the things she did, but the feelings are here : she want to protect herself from the world, even though she's part of it. She can't simply escape it. Nor she can escape her past. She's At-tan and will always be At-tan. Now, what does being "At-tan" means, it's up to her to decide, but it's difficult with all these people that put her down, for all sorts of reasons (gratification, abuse, or even using her for virtue signaling)

That's why scenes with Elizabeth and Doctor are those I like the most. They are part of this world that she hates, but they are kind. They're not using her for any purpose. In fact, it is her who should rely on them, and more importantly, accepting this kindness. The most challenging thing for her is ironically accepting the good.

But the world is still here. She will always be "At-tan", with her own experiences, whether she chose them or not. And I think it is what I like the most about it.

Thank you for your message. Yes, the world is hard to navigate if you see cruelty for what it is. But I like to think, it will not be impossible if you learn to navigate your own experiences for the better.

I like the ones with Elizabeth and Doctor the most, too. I wouldn't have been able to make this comic without them!